“What should I have for lunch today?… Oh, whatever, I’ll just have the same as everyone else.”
“I want to try something new, but I’ll pass because that person might object to it.”
In your daily life, do you ever find yourself constantly going along with other people’s opinions, or relying on someone else because you are afraid to make your own decisions?
“I’ll take care of my own business!”
Even if you think so in your heart, do you find yourself freezing up when the time comes to act? In fact, that might be a small SOS signal from your heart.
Today, we will share some tips on how to control yourself and live a healthy life both mentally and physically, inspired by the words of Joseph Murphy, a great 20th-century American educator and master of the subconscious mind.
Let’s graduate from a “life where you can’t decide” today and take back the leadership of your own life!
1. The Mental and Physical Disorders Caused by “Inability to Decide”
Going along with others or leaving decisions to someone else may seem easy at first glance. You don’t have to take responsibility, and it doesn’t rock the boat.
However, there is an invisible and terrible price to pay for continuing to ignore your true feelings.
When human beings lose the sense of being in control of their own lives (self-efficacy), they are wired to feel intense stress.
- Mental Disorders: Constant frustration, unexplainable anxiety, and self-hatred.
- Physical Disorders: Difficulty falling asleep, chronic stiff shoulders or headaches, and unrefreshing fatigue.
Choosing “not to decide” is a choice that slowly erodes your mind and body in exchange for temporary ease. Before your heart screams, “I’ve had enough!”, we need to grab the steering wheel of our lives again.
2. Learning the Importance of “Controlling Yourself” from Joseph Murphy’s Quote
Here are the words of Joseph Murphy that strike a deep chord in our hearts:
“We should not be controlled by others, but it is necessary to control ourselves. Those who cannot control themselves tend to be unhealthy in both body and mind.”
—— Joseph Murphy
This quote teaches us two important facts.
① “Do not be controlled by others” = Do not be a bystander in someone else’s life
Living your life by reading other people’s faces is the same as handing over the driver’s seat of your life to someone else. The protagonist of your life is “you” and no one else.
② “Control yourself” = Do not be swept away by emotions or laziness
When Murphy talks about “controlling yourself,” he does not mean living a rigid life by binding yourself strictly. It means “correctly guiding your own mind (subconscious mind) toward the rich direction you desire.”
True autonomy means deciding “This is how I will live” and controlling yourself without being swept away by your emotions, negative assumptions like “I can’t do it anyway,” or easy choices (laziness) right in front of you.
3. 3 Steps to Manage Yourself Well, Starting Today!
To put “I’ll take care of my own business!” into practice, here are three simple action steps you can take starting today.
Step 1: Practice making small decisions in “Seconds”
First, practice making decisions on small things where no one will be troubled even if you make a mistake.
- Decide what to order at a restaurant in “3 seconds.”
- Choose the clothes you wear tomorrow based on intuition.
- Pick a book at a bookstore instantly.
The accumulation of small successful experiences of “deciding by yourself and acting accordingly” will lead to confidence when making big decisions.
Step 2: Observe your “Emotions” from a step back
In order to control yourself, you need to know your current state.
Try to observe your mind objectively from a step back (metacognition), thinking, “Oh, I’m feeling lazy right now,” or “I’m about to be swayed by that person’s opinion.” Just by noticing, the probability of being at the mercy of your emotions will drop significantly.
Step 3: Think with “What do I want to do?” as the subject
When you are lost in something, stop the habit of thinking, “What is normal?” or “What would everyone else do?” Instead, make it a habit to ask yourself, “What do I want to do?” Just by changing the subject to “I,” the leadership of your life will return to you.
4. How Will Your Life Change When You Can Control Yourself?
When you have the courage to acquire the “power to control yourself,” your daily life will begin to change dramatically.
- Human relationships become easier: Because you are no longer swayed by others, the stress caused by relationships based on other people’s axes is drastically reduced.
- Sense of satisfaction and confidence are born: Because it is an action you decided on yourself, you can look forward and think, “I’ll try this next time,” even if you fail. This process nurtures deep self-esteem.
- Both mind and body become healthy: Just as Murphy said, the fulfillment of controlling your own life regulates the autonomic nervous system and brings the best energy to your mind and body.
Conclusion: Sit in the Driver’s Seat of Your Life Yourself
Deciding for yourself and controlling yourself may be a little scary and require energy at first.
However, you are the only one in the world who can sit in the driver’s seat of your life and hold the steering wheel.
“I’ll take care of my own business!”
With that wonderful determination in your heart, why not try to control yourself starting with today’s small choices? When you start walking on your own power, your mind and body will surely become surprisingly light and healthy.
